christmas heart strummin

it doesn’t feel like christmas today

maybe because i didn’t wake up to the smells of brewing coffee or the sound of laughter around the kitchen table, no cheery music, no stocking to investigate
– i woke up wondering if any grocery stores would be open – i forgot to pick up some food

it’s supposed to get to 30 degrees, not a cloud in the sky to block the sun from burning my eyes
palm trees look silly today
the highway, menacing
but i have a gift
a present
i knew this day would come
so i tied it in a bow of twine
tucked it away
because i wanted to open it in front of you
to unravel it slowly relishing the flavours
of sweet remembrance

i pull the bow of twine
and
your face comes to mind
and i see the twinkle in your eyes
i see you
we shared a moment in time
that i can only remember now
but the feeling is still so
present
you’re here- right here, in my little ol’ pitter patter machine!
though it is bitter-sweet
because you’re not there
to receive my smile
in the present
but maybe you feel it anyways

i keep pulling
and i hear your laugh
it tickles my ear drum
and my eyes prickle
i want to tell another joke
so i can hear it again
but the laughter fades
replaced with the hum of the
present
i giggle anyways
you would have too, i know

the taut twine loosens
as i play a chord
on my heart string
a lone note
that i savour
it sounds like you and i
when we’re together
no one else would hear it quite the same way
as you and i
it’s different every time anyways
hum, let’s dance

unravelling
unravelled

and
naturally

that bow of twine
has changed
where once was two
is now one
it sounds lonely
hum
and maybe it won’t bow again
but one is endless
we don’t need the bow to remember
that we’re still together
the form changed but it remains
that it was always just one piece of twine anyways

it fooled me too

YOU – family, friends, loved ones… thank you for being with me, what a gift

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