free the body, find freedom

“So you see, if you become aware of the fact that you are all of your own body, and that the beating of your heart is not just something that happens to you, but something you’re doing, then you become aware also in the same moment and at the same time that you’re not only beating your heart, but that you are shining the sun. Why? Because the process of your bodily existence and its rhythms is a process, an energy system which is continuous with the shining of the sun, just like the East River. Here is a continuous energy system, and all the waves in it are activities of the whole East River, and that’s continuous with the Atlantic Ocean, and that’s all one energy system. And finally, the Atlantic ocean gets around to being the Pacific Ocean and the Indian Ocean, etc. So all the waters of the Earth are a continuous energy system. It isn’t just that the East River is part of it. You can’t draw any line and say ‘Look, this is where the East River ends and the rest of it begins,’ as you can in the parts of an automobile, where you can say, ‘This is definitely a part of the generator here, and over here is a spark plug.’
There’s not that kind of isolation between the elements of nature.”
― Alan Watts
~~~~~~~~

it’s not often that i ask my feet to relax
though one should think that such an important member
of this flesh and bone expression
ought to warrant more attention

‘relax feet, have faith the earth will support you, have faith’
i lay on my mat, eyes closed
all of my attention placed upon
my toes

oh! and those toes
they pulse with the rhythm of my heart
‘relax feet, have faith’ i breathe into them
in on five counts, out on six
they acknowledge and
quiver with delight

‘okay, ankles, shins, calves …’
and so it goes
up and up and up the body
five counts inhale, six exhale

the requests for relaxation and faith
and letting go
are met with resistance

hmm

the mind dully notices that
each member of this body
has its own story
and not every one is willing to part with theirs

after years of disregard

so i lay with
patient attention
and feel the overwhelming tension held
in the ankles and the shins and the calves
enough to make me cry and shake
and squirm with anger and frustration

i breathe through it anyways

‘let go, have faith
relax’

and
i cry as the body cries
waking up from its
nightmarish slumber
of wounds and buried feelings
neglect

and oh god
it’s too much to bare

so  i breathe deeper

laying on the floor
moment for moment
time stalls as i get to know
who has joined me
for this human experience

and one by one they say
‘hey! where’ve you been?’
‘been waiting for you this whole time
for you to wake up and notice me as
divine’

and wow
divinity is expansive
a spacious room in which to dwell!
mmm, newly remembered freedom!

and ah, each time i
get on my mat
and discuss life with all the bits that
make up the whole
i just
give respect where it is due
to all the parts that i call
my home

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

heh, i remember this one time
on a pebble beach looking out on the
juan de fuca

here i am, coming up on lsd
and i come to the truth that my feet
were sensory devices
not unlike hands or eyes or ears

that each toe was its own person
with different intents and purpose
and how we bind our feet
with plastic shoes and concrete

and it’s no wonder that
this western society is so disconnected from
the soil that raises us

each pebble that sunk into my
heels and my soles
my soul
sent sensation to parts of the body
enough to wake me to their
true nature

and ahh
that cannot be unlearned

 

free the feet, free the body
find freedom