as soon as you know better

find your purpose
find yourself, on purpose
find yourself a porpoise
don’t delay!
click now and
find your life’s porpoise

porpoise

phew, woke up again this morning
without a clear idea in my mind’s eye
as to why i ought to grace the cold, hardwood floor
with the bareness of my feet

i list off some of the things that i’ll play no particularly
influential role in today
~ overthrowing tyrannical and destructive government bodies
~ saving the human family from itself by irradicating division; fear and hate mongering
~ teaching the divine wisdom of the earth to all and thereby preventing the further annihilation of every other living being on the planet

well, fuck
shit
‘find your purpose, find what gets you out of bed in the morning’
fuck
the world’s on fire
and what’s my purpose

where’s my phone?
i scan the still-dark room
and spot it plugged-in on the other side
i lean as far over as i can without getting
out of bed
and nudge it with the tip of my finger
nudge, nudge
til it’s close enough to palm
and i feel the familiar cold weight

‘don’t let a moment slip away’
scroll, click
‘start your morning with this routine and fix your life forever’
scroll, scroll
click
‘3,000 displaced people seek refuge amongst hate and public outcry in border town’
scroll
click
‘another innocent man gunned down for wearing black skin’
scroll
‘karen had pizza for dinner’ mmm what kind? oh, pineapple
scroll
scroll
‘nation’s old-growth forests dwindle to 7%, continue to decline’
scroll

get out of bed
get out there and live your purpose

7.7 billion people are living and dying right now
their realities bump and collide and swirl, connected just by being
the overwhelming majority just a
passing face on the street, in the news
a sweeping generalization
a judgement, a bias
a peripheral glance

most are just holding on, surviving
and
what’s your purpose for getting up this morning?

i blink into the dawn of the day
cascading in from behind the curtains
and i sigh, and i groan, and i smile

my purpose today
it’s not grandiose
it’ll never make it as a headline
or as a youtube vid
it’s simply that
i can change my heart and mind at any time
about anything at all
and it’s imperative that i do!
that’s a real fucking thing to work on today!
to change
one’s heart and one’s mind

it’s a fine mission today!

to
move and shift
with grace and intention
in even the smallest of acts
to
observe one’s judgements
and feel what it is to connect
the lies in the mind to the truths of the heart
and to do away with them

to
look for the thread of connection
in the minute, in the average, in the routine
to find a new eye in which to see
it all more clearly

on the surface
it doesn’t feel like an enormous thing to
find purpose in
today, no
but can you fucking imagine
if everyone felt their purpose today
was to change their heart and their mind

i reckon that’s how it goes down
that some dude out there
puts down the gun
that some gal out there
deletes her hate-filled words
that some drumpf out there
has this change of heart and mind
so huge that
it ripples through the threads that connect us all

that
as soon as they know better
they’ll change their heart, they’ll change their mind

(salvation!)

can you just imagine!

“time flies when you’re …”

yeah, that takes time’

my eyebrows raised in response
to the deadpan look on his face
and i let out what could only be described
as a guffaw

‘heh hmm, yes, that it does’

our time together
was drawing to a close
having just spent the week in the presence of
this intriguing human whose heart and soul
were just so obvious, so open
whereas the man in the middle of both
was evasive and cloaked in
a mystery only an introvert
can really wear

‘it would be really nice to get to know you better’

i had said it with honesty
and with the expected niceties
when in the presence of an acquaintance
and maybe with an expectation
that he’d agree
but i just wound up feeling humbled
by his simple truth

it takes time

and it’s funny because
i’ve grown up in a culture that wants it all
now
the quick fix
the one weekend
workshop to find enlightenment
30 minutes or less, skip the dishes
a brief exchange of words and pictures
via the
latest dating app
one more meme to post
so someone else can catch a glimpse
of a feeling

and it’s not really funny
because
the true value
of presence
is so easily
lost to another episode of
the latest netflicks binge
and cellphone scroll through meal-time
and it’s
driving this culture
to anxiety and depression
where the past lingers
and the future looms
and the here and now
is only casually glimpsed
in a moment when one forgets to
disengage from their self

and i wonder how
anyone ever finds the time
to be anywhere else

it was an afterthought
days after our exchange
that i had a moment where
i wanted to come back to him and
tell him that
i didn’t need to get to know the man
between the heart and the soul
that the truth would lie
in the moments where
I knew myself

for to know myself
would be to know all of creation
and that
i could see Him anyways
beyond our stories of past and future

if i just allowed for stillness
i could know myself
i could know him

if i just allowed for stillness

so, i don’t know
maybe
to truly know someone, something
the hows and whys
the real journey, the real story
the real reason
maybe that kind of knowing can
only Be
within the
absence of time

and that,
that is everpresent
~~~~

have you ever experienced the
timelessness
of meeting another’s eyes
and recognizing each other’s
presence
in the present

a witnessing of all this glorious
oneness?

i live for that